This is a tricky post for me to write - mainly because I am unsure of what to do....its about my (our) last name(s) after June 2.
(Image from slickdeals.net)
Way back in the day
(I think it was a Tuesday), Mr. Rocks and I talked about changing my/our name after the wedding. We came to the agreement that we would both legally change our last names by combining them (so we would both have a last name of "JonesSmith"). This seemed like a really good idea to me - it truly represented the joining of two people, and we could both continue to use our "pre-marriage" names in our professional lives.
(i.e. if I went to a conference as "Dr. Jones" but my drivers license said "Dr. JonesSmith," I should not have any problems.) I thought this was settled and we were both happy with the plan.
I was wrong. :( Late one night in January, Mr. Rocks said to me, rather sleepily, "Ya know, there is a part of me that just wants you to be "Dr/Mrs Smith" after the wedding. It was late, we were both tired, so I just made some kind of non-committal sound and we went to sleep. He did not mention it again, and a few weeks went by. This whole, time, his comment was weighing on my mind. I finally brought it up to him
(during daylight hours, when we could actually talk about it).
Now, this is why Mr. Rocks is so amazing. He basically said he wanted me to be happy with whatever name changes we did. Bottom line - that was what was important to him. After some more prodding, he did say that yes - he always imagined when he got married his wife would take his last name. And honestly, I want to make him happy. I want this to be a decision that we are both happy with.
But I don't know what to do. The way I see it, I have a few options:
1) I alone could hyphenate my last name and be "Dr. Jones" professionally and "Mrs. Smith" in my personal life.
I really, really, really dislike this idea. I want my last name to be the same as Mr. Rocks last name.
2) I could just take "Smith" as my last name - personally and professionally.
Really, I am just starting out in my career....I'm would not be the only woman who changed her last name in academia....so it would not be so terrible. However - I am the only one in my family with a PhD. I am very proud to be the only "Dr. Jones" and I am not sure I am ready to give that up.
3) We could go back to "plan A."
But then again, I want to make sure Mr. Rocks is happy with the plan too.
4) We could just totally combine out last names into a whole new last name: "Slymer"
Honestly, there is a part of me that really likes this idea. But then again, my last name would be "Slymer"
Any suggestions from the peanut gallery? I am still very unsure of what to do!